Kim Jung Poo

Raymond Suh
Period 4

Kim Jung Poo was an absolute legend. Born in the darkest alleyways of Seoul, Korea, Kim Jung Poo
was forced to spend his early years in the harsh, cold environment with absolutely no guidance. His parents
had dumped him onto the streets on his second birthday, leaving him with only a half-empty bottle of soju and a pair
of chopsticks. Despite the parents' unmistakable lack of empathy, they had not left him to be completely
alone. Instead, they had so considerately left him with eighteen brothers and twenty-four sisters,
all of whom were younger than Kim.


Life on the streets wasn't easy for Kim Jung Poo, given that he was a two year old with absolutely nothing, aside
from a whole bunch of useless siblings. Every single one of Kim Jung Poo's siblings were so completely and utterly
incompetent that he even considered selling them at one point. Unfortunately, this never occurred, most likely due
to an extremely one-sided imbalance in supply and demand. Kim Jung Poo eventually accepted that he would need to take care
of not only himself, but also his forty-two fellow sorry-excuse-of-a-human siblings. This, however, was not enough to discourage
nor break his spirit.


Kim Jung Poo quickly decided that his best course of action would be to start attending a school. After a few days of writing
out applications, Kim was accepted into Harvard. Immediately following his acceptance, Kim Jung Poo swam 6,600 miles across the
Pacific, then trekked through 10,274 miles of land, arriving promptly in time for his zero period class. Once he had finished his
classes, he would take the same route back, bringing his free school lunch along to feed his forty-two siblings. Within the first
semester, Kim Jung Poo had acquired PHD's in Astronomy, Bioengineering, and Computer Science. Kim then utilized his new degrees
to create a billion-dollar business involving the production of soju and chopsticks. He went on to live an incredible life, leaving
a legacy unmatched by any others in history.